Things Republicans and Democrats Still Agree On

1. It’s obnoxious when people spell things the British way, like “colour” and “favourite” (Theatre is ok though)
2. ABC Family should have kept its name, FreeForm is a stupid name
3. It’s sad when people die
4. Will Ferrell, very funny
5. When it rains that means God’s sad
6. Remember the Titans is a good movie
7. Spotify premium is worth it!
8. Second season of Twin Peaks, not great
9. Jennifer Lopez is immortal
10. It’s funny that Garfield likes lasagna. One step further, The Sopranos would have been a funnier show if they had a cat that loved lasagna in there
11. Solving Rubik’s cubes fast is an impressive but useless talent
12. How much my dad loves WW2!
13. Brown M&M’s are the least fun to eat
14. The only way to kill a deer is by transferring your emotional pain to it inside a surrealist painting
15. Free Wifi is appreciated
16. You have to keep bread twisty ties in the kitchen drawer with soy sauce packets and rubber bands
17. Animals that have animal friends of a different species than them are mesmerizing especially if they differ in size by more than half
18. Garlic does kill vampires, which is why you have to wear it at all times
19. Jury Duty is a burden but also a little exciting and would be fun if it was more convenient
20. Jeans
21. The Dominoes pizza tracker added fun to waiting
22. Of the 196 countries in the world, only 49 have ever had a female leader
23. Every woman in the Bible gets killed by a man eventually
24. It’s satisfying to delete voicemails
25. The Butterfly Effect was very intense!!
26. We liked Fergie for one year
27. Pain is just weakness leaving the body
28. Gwen Stefani shouldn’t have gone solo
29. Paul McCartney really died in 1966
30. The only way to get rich is by solving a series of riddles given to you by a troll
31. Pet hair??? Yikes!!

Julie Mitchell is a writer and stand up living in New Orleans. She loves Dark Angel, mascara, and the fearless banality of pop music. You can follow her on Twitter @juliepoptart.