Sauron’s Tower: A Beacon of Hope for Middle Earth

On June 20th, 2021, Amazon founder and pathological wealth hoarder Jeff Bezos ascended into inner space in a rocket made in his own image. The news coverage of this event went to sometimes elaborate lengths to frame a billionaire’s joyride as proof that a Great Man’s achievements are the fundamental metric of a successful society.…

8 Things to Look Forward to When Trump is No Longer President

Here in the seventh month of the tenth year of the third millenium of the Trump presidency, folks are feeling a bit worn out. Everyone is either desperately seeking to unplug from the endless onslaught of terrible news, or else has worn the prints from their thumbs by checking it every eight seconds. There is…

Supervillains React to the Demise of TrumpCare

The following is a transcript of remarks made at a luncheon during the annual Villain and Antihero Planning and Energizing Retreat (VAPER), held at a Cici’s Pizza in Cleveland. These remarks have been edited for length and clarity (chiefly to omit several extended arguments on the appropriateness of pineapple as a pizza topping). Moderator: So…

Dear Men In My Life, Watch The Fucking Handmaid’s Tale

Watch it or honestly I will think less of you. Watch it because it’s the bare minimum, and lucky for you, the bare minimum comes in the form of a gorgeously photographed piece of entertainment starring Peggy from Mad Men. (Elisabeth Moss has become the mountaineer of portraying the female condition, and if you thought watching…

The Best and Worst Things About Being A Woman

Recently National Geographic made a video for its “gender issue,” in which their reporters interviewed children all over the world and asked them about their favorite parts of being boys and girls (nonbinary kids were not included in this segment). The answers range from the comical to the heartbreaking. After watching it, I found myself wondering…