To the point
On June 20th, 2021, Amazon founder and pathological wealth hoarder Jeff Bezos ascended into inner space in a rocket made in his own image. The news coverage of this event went to sometimes elaborate lengths to frame a billionaire’s joyride as proof that a Great Man’s achievements are the fundamental metric of a successful society.…
Hi, thanks so much for submitting your baby pictures to social media! Unfortunately, I’m unable to like them at this time. Normally, I just send out form rejection letters, but since you and I know each other personally, I felt I at least owed you an explanation. I can’t bring myself to click that little…
For the past several days, every time I get on the internet, I am assaulted by advertisements encouraging me to see two films: Forever My Girl, and Phantom Thread. One is a schmaltzy Hallmark Channel reject that looks like The Notebook with erectile dysfunction, and the other is being widely hailed as a masterpiece, starring the greatest…
As every queer woman who has ever logged on to Netflix knows, lesbians are rich in tragedy. The typical story arc for women who love women in film and television goes something like this: Girl painfully comes to terms with feelings for other girl. The exploration of these feelings costs girl her job/children/parental approval, and…
Friends, last night I sat down to watch Gerald’s Game, the film adaptation of Stephen King’s 1992 novel of the same name. You may have noticed the title appearing on your Netflix home screen next to The Documentary About Hasidic People (which is worth watching on the strength of its subject matter, though not its cinematic…
First of all: JINGLE JANGLE. I’m going to circle back to that name later on, but it felt dishonest to open with anything else. Before we can get to it, let’s get brought up to speed (speed, in case you didn’t know, is one of the top eight ingredients in Jingle Jangle, along with Cialis…
Teen girls are terrifying to the patriarchy. Young women, full of potential, just hitting puberty and taking on all the cultural baggage that comes along with that, “realizing their power” and “losing their innocence” and all of that nonsense, they might as well be bloodthirsty beasts for how inherently threatening they are to the status…
The first time I read The Lord of the Rings, I was about fourteen. The movie had just come out, and after watching it seven times in a row, I realized I should probably tackle the book at some point. To my horror, I discovered the book took what felt like absolute ages to get…
1.“Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” -Jet, 2003 No. As you have established elsewhere in the lyrics, I came with another man, and you yourself admit that you are unable to make much in the way of conversation before you “let me get away.” So not only is the answer a firm no, the question…
1.Sad Cartoons, such as Bojack Horseman and Rick and Morty. Every adoring writeup for these shows is like “how an alcoholic cartoon horse made us cry” and I just cannot imagine having the emotional reservoir to voluntarily put myself through something like that. (Also, I have not yet forgiven Will Arnett for whatever happened with Amy Poehler.) 2.Electronic…