Sauron’s Tower: A Beacon of Hope for Middle Earth

On June 20th, 2021, Amazon founder and pathological wealth hoarder Jeff Bezos ascended into inner space in a rocket made in his own image. The news coverage of this event went to sometimes elaborate lengths to frame a billionaire’s joyride as proof that a Great Man’s achievements are the fundamental metric of a successful society.…

10 Lesbian Films and Shows With Happy Endings

As every queer woman who has ever logged on to Netflix knows, lesbians are rich in tragedy. The typical story arc for women who love women in film and television goes something like this: Girl painfully comes to terms with feelings for other girl. The exploration of these feelings costs girl her job/children/parental approval, and…

Why The Events of Gerald’s Game Would Never Happen To Me

Friends, last night I sat down to watch Gerald’s Game, the film adaptation of Stephen King’s 1992 novel of the same name. You may have noticed the title appearing on your Netflix home screen next to The Documentary About Hasidic People (which is worth watching on the strength of its subject matter, though not its cinematic…

Obviously I Have Seen The Rain (and Other Popular Song Questions, Answered).

1.“Are You Gonna Be My Girl?” -Jet, 2003 No. As you have established elsewhere in the lyrics, I came with another man, and you yourself admit that you are unable to make much in the way of conversation before you “let me get away.” So not only is the answer a firm no, the question…

Dart Open Thread: 14 Things I Don’t Understand

1.Sad Cartoons, such as Bojack Horseman and Rick and Morty. Every adoring writeup for these shows is like “how an alcoholic cartoon horse made us cry” and I just cannot imagine having the emotional reservoir to voluntarily put myself through something like that. (Also, I have not yet forgiven Will Arnett for whatever happened with Amy Poehler.) 2.Electronic…