To the point
Hello and welcome back to Riverdale! Whole White House careers have begun and ended since the last time we ventured to the maple-lined streets of our favorite blood-spattered small town, but the second I heard someone say “Papa Poutine’s murder” with a straight face, I knew we were home. This episode is classic Riverdale in…
Y’ALL, I KNEW IT. And by “it,” I mean I knew that: –Riverdale was about to pull out of its slump -The reason for the slump was the lack of lady-centric storylines -Special Agent Jared Kushner was not what he appeared to be -Cheryl has a special archery practice outfit, and YES OBVIOUSLY THE ARROWS…
Riverdale. Oh Riverdale. I’m gonna speak for all your fans and ask: how could you do this to us? Do you have any idea how hard it is, going to bat for you? Our friends ask “so what are you watching on TV these days?” and we bravely dive in with “well it’s this really…
Hello and welcome back to Riverdale! I am so glad to be back to recapping a show I hadn’t realized I had missed so much until I watched this episode in the bathtub and laughed so hard I nearly drowned. (By season four, I guarantee someone will have died in that exact way.) I really…
Hello and welcome back to Alice!, the show about a middle-aged woman rediscovering her sexual power despite a town, a family, and a world that want to hold her back. What’s that you say? That’s not what this show is called or about or even an accurate representation of Alice Cooper’s circumstances? Well, someone should…
Friends, in the immortal words of Paul Simon, “these are the days of miracles and wonder.” By which I mean that miraculously, my decision to recap Riverdale has at last borne fruit, and my favorite female character on the show is now canonically queer. This stunning development comes on the heels of last week’s episode,…
Hello friends. I’ve been struggling with how, or even if, to write about this episode of Riverdale, since its exploration of sexual violence and toxic masculinity are timely in a way that doesn’t necessarily feel productive. We are already in danger of drowning in a flood of assault and harassment allegations against powerful men, so…
Hello and welcome back to Riverdale, the show in a game of chicken with the news to see which one will give up being relentlessly dreary first! (My money is on the world erupting into atomic warfare before either of them cheer the fuck up.) This episode, I am sorry to say, chiefly concerns The…
The most generous explanation I have for this episode is that the writers knew that it would be drowned out by Stranger Things buzz and they didn’t want to waste their best material on it. The less generous explanation is that Roberto Aguire-Sacasa is a man of deep passions and widely varied interests, and he…
First of all: JINGLE JANGLE. I’m going to circle back to that name later on, but it felt dishonest to open with anything else. Before we can get to it, let’s get brought up to speed (speed, in case you didn’t know, is one of the top eight ingredients in Jingle Jangle, along with Cialis…