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Wentworth Recap 4.8: Fuck the Labels

Knowing that Bea will do anything to be in that room at that time each day is all Joan needs, so she takes the information to Kaz, that within days, Bea will be dead. But even though Kaz believes that Bea is the reason she’ll be in prison for the next twelve years, actually murdering her is a bridge she is reluctant to cross. So Joan breaks it down for her one more time: Bea invented the prison industrial complex. Bea is the reason Person of Interest got canceled. And Bea’s death is the only thing that can finally bring about a feminist utopia here on Earth. So reluctantly, Kaz agrees.

Joan’s next stop is the Asian camp, from whom she purchases six roofies (and delightfully gets called a “long piece of shit.”) Now, six roofies seems a bit excessive for whatever awful thing you are trying to do with roofies, but Joan only gets that quantity because this season, Joan is taking no chances. In the past, perhaps she was bit incautious with her hit man-hiring and pencil torture and basement fires, but she is no longer leaving anything to chance. (This subtle, calculated style is a great deal of why I prefer prisoner Joan to any other version.) Anyway, that night, she gives herself half the roofies, so she can exactly time how long it will take her to become incapacitated, which she measures by when she is unable to count to three, or when she finds The Big Bang Theory funny, whichever comes first.

BAZINGA.

While this situation is slowly coming to a boil, there are plenty of other plots thickening. For one thing, Liz is continuing her deep cover, double agent, high-stakes intrigue attempt to befriend Sonia, Wentworth’s Fancy Lady.

THEY CALL ME “TWO IN THE BUSH” BIRDSWORTH.

For the most part, Liz’s strategy is just to hang around Sonia and drop leading hints about places where you can get a good deal on a shovel and a body bag. But while Sonia still won’t cop to having murdered her best friend, she does relate the tale of her husband, who apparently disappeared after being diagnosed with cancer, in order to spare Sonia the pain of seeing him suffer. Liz finds this story a bit far-fetched, but she shares it with the detective, who is continuing to ply Liz with pastries and oral recaps of Call The Midwife. According to him, Sonia probably murdered her husband with some help from her friend, then murdered her friend to keep her quiet. Where I see this going is that Liz gets a little too close to the truth and then Sonia tries to shut her up. But if that’s the case, then I feel nothing but pity for Sonia, since we all learned back in season two that Liz Birdsworth is not to be trifled with.

Meanwhile, the strange love triangle between the guards continued. Actually, I suppose “triangle” isn’t the right word of it, since it’s really just Officer Jake reaching out to both Vera and Will, who resolutely refuse to form any sort of polygon with him whatsoever. Vera is thus far standing firm against temptation, but Jake keeps right on knocking anyway. Elsewhere, Jake eagerly displays his manhood for Will, who tries valiantly to indicate his lack of interest without being biphobic.

SO DID YOU HAPPEN TO CATCH LAST NIGHT’S TEEN WOLF?

I bring this storyline up at all mostly because I am so proud of Will for standing up for Vera and talk about her with the respect due to his professional superior. He really is being awfully decent this season.

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