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Wentworth Recap 5.7: I Don’t Care What You Are

Bea, meanwhile, is still stuck in that exquisite limbo in which every time she spots Allie from across a room her heart pounds and her mouth goes dry, and she completely forgets what to do with her hands.

DOES MY TOP DOG NEED A LIL BELLY RUB?
IS…IS THAT HOW LESBIANS HAVE SEX?

And I mean, Jesus Lord the chemistry between Kate Jenkinson and Danielle Cormack is insane. Frequently, even our best-written and most well-intentioned ships are undermined by the simple fact that the two women in question just don’t look like they want to kiss each other. But these two shoot love out of their eyes: Bea these anguished, dodging stabs of it, and Allie this steady, unshakable glow. Of course, even Allie’s patience with Bea’s uncertainty has its limits, and when she gives Bea a bottle of lotion for her scars, there’s a strong subtext of “THIS ALSO WORKS GREAT AS LUBE.”

Okay, so my mom is not caught up on this season, and I tried to explain to her yesterday how The Freak is so much scarier now that she’s a prisoner. Like, you could never appreciate the full force of her evil when she had power and henchmen and pencils at her disposal. But now that she’s being forced to play helpless, you can see how truly insidious she is. Watching her play Kaz like a fiddle is like watching Lord Voldemort bashfully ask Draco Malfoy if he can join his Quidditch team. Which is to say: monstrously unnatural and also very, very funny. I think the biggest single laugh I have ever gotten from Wentworth comes this week when Joan tearfully informs Kaz that she is “being victimized.”

YOU POOR, INNOCENT LAMB.

Her hope is to use Kaz’s clout on the outside to permanently silence Nils Jessper, who Kaz readily believes is a rapist and abuser of women, because Kaz believes that about all men. She’s also predisposed to distrust Bea, so Joan just keeps patiently drilling it into her head: Bea + Nils = Patriarchy. Earth – Bea – All Men = Spice Girls Get Back Together.

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