In other news, Bea gives Maxine a hat that used to be a tea cozy, cementing her status as the Dobby of cell block H.
You all know I’ve found it difficult to get an emotional foothold this season, but Franky’s storyline this week recalls some of the urgency of season one. She sees threats everywhere: in the junkies clamoring for their drugs, in Joan, plotting against her, and in her friends, one of whom has betrayed her. Her paranoia and rising terror go a long way towards humanizing her, at least until she totally loses control. Speaking of losing control, Kim offers her support and friendship to Frankie, who opts for emotion-free sex instead.
Afterwards, Kim tries to have an actual conversation (featuring the most lines she has ever had) with Frankie, who orders her out of the room. This scene offers some real insights into their relationship, which is to reveal that it is shallow, cold, and dysfunctional. But at least it’s a break from the show just dragging Kim onscreen for a sex scene and then dragging her back offscreen before she can open her mouth.
Meanwhile, out in the yard, new Ultra-Vera is searching the remains of the garden for clues.
She stumbles across Doreen’s pregnancy test, which has absolutely no business being in the garden. As I recall, the garden was shut down before Doreen even knew she was preggers. Anyway, Ultra-Vera takes it as a sign that a prisoner is pregnant and orders the pee-testing of every single inmate. This could be bad news for Doreen but Warren (the flirty prisoner) scores her some fetus-free urine from Maxine. No doubt this will come back to haunt our inmates at a later date, but for now Doreen’s secret is safe.
As for Franky, with pressure mounting to discover who the traitor is, and she completely loses her cool and shoves Warren in a dryer. You know, it makes it really hard to tell people “No, you guys, Wentworth is nothing like Orange Is The New Black. It’s its whole own thing” when they use the exact same plot points. Anyway Liz intercedes just in time and Warren is saved from the dreaded spin cycle.