Well too goddamn much stuff happened in this episode, if you ask me, so we’re gonna go through this the fastest way I know how: OOPS ALL PICTURES.
We pick up right where we left off last week, with the nice BPO guy having been art-ed to death in the Rembrandt museum.
I GOTTA ESCAPE FROM HERE DESPITE THE FACT THAT I AM BLEEDING AND DISTINCTLY DO NOT LOOK LIKE I BELONG IN AN ART MUSEUM. SOMEONE CREATE A DISTRACTION.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT BEYONCE IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH TO *GEMINIS*?? AFTER ALL SHE HAS DONE FOR THIS WORLD.
WELL AT LEAST I HAVE THESE MYSTERIOUS BLACK PILLS THE NICE MAN GAVE ME.
NO, HONEY. IF THERE’S TWO THINGS I LEARNED FROM BEING A DJ, IT’S HOW TO PRESS PLAY ON MY LAPTOP, AND NEVER TAKE PILLS FROM STRANGE MEN.
The team vows to investigate BPO from their own corners, and breaks up for some solo storyline time.
JUST STANDING ON TOP OF A BUILDING WAVING MY ARMS AROUND, AS ONE DOES WHEN THEY’RE THE TARGET OF A NATIONAL MANHUNT.
FREEZE! MY NAME IS DETECTIVE MOON AND ONLY ONE WOMAN HAS EVER DEFEATED ME, AND IT COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE YOU. I MEAN, THAT PLUS THE WHOLE “SUN AND MOON” THING WOULD JUST BE TOO RIDICULOUS.
OH MY GOD IT’S YOU. THE GIRL TO WHOM WHO STOLE MY HONOR AND MY PRECIOUS FLOWER OF VIRGINITY.
COME AND FIND ME. IT WON’T BE HARD, BECAUSE I AM PRETTY BAD AT HIDING OUT.
Next up, Kala and Capheus have parallel experiences! (Kind of!)
I’M HERE TO PROVE A POINT ABOUT THE DANGERS OF TOO MUCH RELIGION!
US TOO EXCEPT FOR CLEAN DRINKING WATER!
I JUST CAME HERE TO WORSHIP AND HONESTLY I AM FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW.
THERE WILL BE NO HANDOUTS! YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF WATER-GUZZLING FREELOADERS!
SIR, DEPRIVING PEOPLE OF WATER IS WRONG. SO IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF DEF LEPPARD, “POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME/ IN THE NAME OF LOVE.” EXCEPT WATER. POUR WATER.
WOW MAN, YOUR CULTURAL REFERENCE POINTS ARE VERY DATED BUT ODDLY EFFECTIVE.
YAY! CAPHEUS DESTROYED CAPITALISM!
Meanwhile, in San Francisco, Amanita also finds herself in hot water, pursued by evil government agent Bendix.
I’M GONNA TRY AND LOSE HIM.
“LOSE HIM?” BUT HONEY, YOU DON’T HAVE THE POWERS OF INTERNATIONAL CRIMINALS TO DRAW ON! YOU’RE JUST YOU!
RELAX, THE WACHOWSKIS KNOW ALL ABOUT THE BURY YOUR GAYS TROPE. THEY WOULD NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO ME.
WE’RE GONNA CIRCLE BACK AROUND TO THAT “JUST YOU” COMMENT WHEN I GET HOME, THOUGH.
THE WACHOWSKIS WOULD NEVER, THE WACHOWSKIS WOULD NEVER, THE WACHOWSKIS WOULD NEVER.
SEE? NOT A SCRATCH.
YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO LEAVE THIS HOUSEBOAT AGAIN.
In other Nomanita news, they decide to tell Bug all about the sensate experience (which means that BUG knows before HERNANDO).
DAMN, THAT’S AMAZING! SHARING SENSATIONS ACROSS BOUNDARIES, ACROSS SEX, ACROSS THE WORLD!
BUT WHY ARE SO MANY OF YOU WHITE? LIKE, SHOULDN’T MORE OF YOU BE ASIAN? STATISTICALLY?
WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.
I am not even going to get into Wolfgang or Riley’s shit in this recap, because all Wolfy does is continue having his penis confused by the temptations of Kala and the new evil sensate, and all Riley does is figure out that Will’s pills are safe to use after all, and receive completely unwarranted encouragement to return to DJing.
Lito, meanwhile, takes it upon himself to investigate the missing journalist who was part of Angelica’s earlier cluster. He shows up with typical Lito aplomb at the man’s father’s house.
EXCUSE ME, SIR. I HATE TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I KNEW YOUR SON.
HOW DID YOU KNOW HIM?
HERE IS A VIDEO RAOUL HID IN HIS ROOM BEFORE HE DIED.
GRAINY FOOTAGE, A NERVOUS MAN LYING ON HIS BACK, THIS HAS TO BE A PORNO.
HOLY SHIT, WHISPERS DID 80s PORN! WELL, HE DEFINITELY HAD THE LOOK.
But of course, the video is not really a sexual romp, but a document of Whispers’ early attempts at turning sensates into his personal puppets.
The end of the episode takes us back to a BPO lab, where we learn that Jonas has finally outlived his usefulness and is going to be executed.
GOODBYE! I’M SORRY I SPOKE TO YOU PRIMARILY IN VAGUE, UNHELPFUL RIDDLES!
Whew! On to the next episode!